Birthday Questions
Ask them about their year, not their present.
- Players
- 2 players
- Length
- 20–40 min
- Cost
- Free · no signup
- Long distance
- Works long distance
Ready?
Ask them about their year, not their present.
- Players
- 2 players
- Length
- 20–40 min
- Intensity
- Sweet
Free · No signup · Nothing you answer is saved
How do you play Birthday Questions?
Birthday questions for couples treat the day as the end of a year of that person's life and ask what was in it — the hardest month, what they stopped caring about, what they are proud of and have not mentioned. Only the person with the birthday answers; the deck is deliberately one-way.
How to play
- The person with the birthday answers. The other one asks.
- Do not answer them yourself — this one is deliberately one-way.
- Ask follow-ups. This is the day for it.
- Six to ten questions is a session.
- Do the reverse on your own birthday.
Why couples love this game
Being asked properly about your own year is rare, and on a birthday everybody defaults to gifts and plans instead. Twenty minutes of someone asking what the last twelve months of your life actually contained — and listening to the answer — is a better present than most things you could buy.
Birthdays get a cake, a card and a question about whether you feel any different. Which is fine, and also the same conversation everybody has been having with them since breakfast.
This is a better one. It treats the birthday as the end of a year of their life specifically — not the calendar year, not the relationship year — and asks what was in it.
It is asymmetric on purpose. One of you is having a birthday and the deck is about them. Do it the other way round in six months.
Example questions
- What was the best thing about being this age?
- What is something you did this year that surprised you?
- Who were you a year ago, and what changed?
- What was the hardest month?
- What are you better at than you were?
- What did you stop caring about this year?
The full game has 22 of these, shuffled every time you play.
Who this game is best for
- The birthday itself, or the evening before
- Milestone birthdays especially
- Long-distance couples on a birthday call
- Anyone who finds birthdays a bit flat
Tips to make it better
- Do not make it reciprocal. The asymmetry is the gift.
- Ask follow-ups rather than moving to the next card.
- The "what do you actually want today" question is worth asking before the day, not on it.
- Write down the answers to the last few and check them next year.
Frequently asked questions
What should I ask my partner on their birthday?
About their year rather than their presents. Everyone else has already asked whether they feel older; almost nobody asks what the last twelve months actually contained.
Should we both answer?
No. The asymmetry is the point — one person gets twenty minutes of undivided attention, and you do the reverse on your own birthday.
Does this work as a birthday tradition?
Very well, particularly if you write down the last few answers and read them back the following year.