Proposal Questions
Find out what they want before you plan the surprise.
- Players
- 2 players
- Length
- 20–40 min
- Cost
- Free · no signup
- Long distance
- Works long distance
Ready?
Find out what they want before you plan the surprise.
- Players
- 2 players
- Length
- 20–40 min
- Intensity
- Sweet
Free · No signup · Nothing you answer is saved
How do you play Proposal Questions?
Proposal questions help you find out what a partner actually wants — public or private, surprise or agreed, ring or no ring — by asking generally about other people's proposals rather than announcing a timeline. Ask two or three at a time, months in advance, and take the "what would ruin it" answer seriously.
How to play
- If you are gathering intelligence, ask two or three at a time, months out.
- The early cards are about other people. Nobody suspects anything from those.
- If you are planning it together, do the whole deck in one evening.
- Write down anything specific. You will not remember it in four months.
- The "what would ruin it" card is the most useful question here.
Why couples love this game
The most common proposal regret is not that it was badly done — it is that it was somebody else's idea of a good proposal. Fifteen minutes of general conversation about other people's engagements tells you almost everything you need, and gives nothing away.
The traditional proposal is a surprise, which means one person plans a significant life event around a guess about what the other one wants. That guess is wrong more often than anybody admits.
These questions let you find out without giving anything away. They are framed generally enough to be asked months in advance — about other people's proposals, about privacy versus audience, about rings and traditions — so you can gather what you need without announcing a timeline.
The second half is for couples who have decided to plan it together, which is increasingly common and consistently produces a day both people actually wanted.
Example questions
- What is the best proposal story you have heard?
- What is the worst?
- Do you think proposals should be a surprise, or agreed first?
- Private, or with people watching?
- How do you feel about proposals in public places?
- Would you want it filmed?
The full game has 22 of these, shuffled every time you play.
Who this game is best for
- Anyone planning to propose
- Couples who have decided to plan it together
- Working out whether a surprise is even wanted
- Long-distance couples planning around a visit
Tips to make it better
- Start with the cards about other people. They are cover and they are informative.
- Ask months ahead. Asking three weeks before is not subtle.
- Write the answers down somewhere they will not be found.
- Take the "what would ruin it" answer completely seriously.
Frequently asked questions
How do I find out what my partner wants without ruining the surprise?
Ask about other people's proposals. Talking about the best and worst ones you have heard of gets you preferences on privacy, audience, rings and filming without any suggestion that you are planning something.
Should a proposal be a surprise?
Increasingly couples decide together and only the timing is a surprise. It is worth asking directly what they think, because the answer varies far more than people assume.
When should I ask these?
Months ahead. A sudden interest in engagement logistics three weeks before is not the subtle move it feels like.