Questions to Ask Before Marriage
The checklist nobody hands you.
- Players
- 2 players
- Length
- 40–70 min
- Cost
- Free · no signup
- Long distance
- Works long distance
Ready?
The checklist nobody hands you.
- Players
- 2 players
- Length
- 40–70 min
- Intensity
- Sweet
Free · No signup · Nothing you answer is saved
How do you play Questions to Ask Before Marriage?
The questions to ask before marriage cover money, children, careers, in-laws, faith, health, and conflict — asked specifically rather than as topic headings. Answer plainly rather than diplomatically, write down what you agree on, and treat any disagreement as something found cheaply rather than a warning sign.
How to play
- Set aside a proper evening. This is not a quick deck.
- Answer plainly. A diplomatic answer here is worse than a difficult one.
- Write down anything you agree on. You will both remember it differently otherwise.
- Where you differ, note it and move on. Do not resolve it tonight.
- Come back to the two biggest gaps on a separate evening.
Why couples love this game
Nearly every couple who fights badly about money, or children, or in-laws is having a first conversation about it under pressure, years in, with a decision already due. Doing it once, calmly, with nothing riding on it, changes how the real version goes.
Everyone is told to "talk about the important things" before getting married. Almost nobody is told what those are, so most couples cover about half of them by accident and discover the rest in year three.
This is the list. Money, children, work, in-laws, faith, health, and what happens when it gets hard — each as a specific question rather than a topic heading you can nod at and move past.
It is deliberately practical rather than romantic. The romantic conversation is easy and you have already had it. This is the other one.
Example questions
- Do we combine finances, keep them separate, or do both? Say exactly what you mean.
- What amount would you spend without checking with me?
- How much debt would make you genuinely anxious?
- What do you expect our savings to look like in five years?
- Do you want children? Say the honest answer, not the diplomatic one.
- If we could not have children biologically, what would you want to do?
The full game has 22 of these, shuffled every time you play.
Who this game is best for
- Engaged couples
- Anyone seriously considering marriage
- Couples about to make a joint financial commitment
- Premarital counselling homework
Tips to make it better
- Say what you actually think. Agreeing to keep the peace is how you end up here again in five years.
- Split it across two evenings. Twenty-two of these in one sitting is a lot.
- A disagreement is a success. You found it in the cheap version.
- This is not counselling. If something here needs more, it needs more.
Frequently asked questions
What should you discuss before getting married?
Money, children, whose career moves, how close you live to family, and what each of you expects when things go badly. Those five produce most of the hard conversations later.
What if we disagree on something major?
Finding it now is the entire point. Note it, finish the deck, and come back to it on its own evening rather than trying to settle it in the middle of twenty other questions.
Is this the same as premarital counselling?
No. It is a structured conversation, not therapy, and it works well as preparation for counselling rather than as a replacement for it.