Questions to Ask Your Husband
You have had this conversation. Have a different one.
- Players
- 2 players
- Length
- 25–45 min
- Cost
- Free · no signup
- Long distance
- Works long distance
Ready?
You have had this conversation. Have a different one.
- Players
- 2 players
- Length
- 25–45 min
- Intensity
- Sweet
Free · No signup · Nothing you answer is saved
How do you play Questions to Ask Your Husband?
Good questions to ask your husband assume shared history rather than introducing you — "What is something you gave up that you never mention?" or "What is a conversation we keep almost having?" Both partners answer each question, and eight to twelve makes a full evening.
How to play
- Pick an evening with nothing scheduled after it.
- Both of you answer each one.
- Do not rush to the next card. The pause is where the second answer lives.
- Follow anything that surprises you and abandon the rest of the deck.
- Eight to twelve is a full evening.
Why couples love this game
Long marriage produces a specific blind spot: you both stop asking because you assume you already know. Most of these questions have an answer that has been true for years and has simply never been said, because nobody ever put it as a question.
Married conversation gets efficient. You both know the shorthand, so the full version stops being said, and after a few years there is a whole category of things that are true and have simply never come up.
These questions assume history. They ask about the years you have already had — what he expected, what he quietly adjusted to, what he would do differently — rather than introducing you to each other.
It is warm rather than heavy, but several of these will produce an answer you have not heard before, which is remarkable given how long you have been listening.
Example questions
- What did you expect marriage to be that it is not?
- What is something you gave up that you never mention?
- When were you last proud of us?
- What is a version of your life you sometimes think about?
- What do you think I have sacrificed?
- What is something you have stopped asking me for?
The full game has 22 of these, shuffled every time you play.
Who this game is best for
- Anniversaries
- Couples who are comfortable but a bit flat
- Long-distance stretches for work
- Anyone whose last real conversation about the marriage was a while ago
Tips to make it better
- Do not turn it into a state of the union. Relationship Check-In is the structured one.
- Answer them yourself. The reciprocity is what makes the honest ones possible.
- Split it over two evenings if it gets rich.
- Do it annually. The answers move more than you expect.
Frequently asked questions
What should I ask my husband to get a real conversation going?
Something he has never been asked. "What is something you have stopped asking me for?" tends to land hardest, because in a long marriage there is usually an answer and it has usually never been said.
How is this different from the married couples deck?
This one is addressed to him specifically, and the questions lean toward what he has adjusted to and quietly carried. Married Couples Questions is written for both of you symmetrically.
How often should we do this?
Once a year is about right, and it works best on an anniversary. The answers shift enough between years to be worth repeating.