Childhood Questions
Where most of it came from.
- Players
- 2 players
- Length
- 25–50 min
- Cost
- Free · no signup
- Long distance
- Works long distance
Ready?
Where most of it came from.
- Players
- 2 players
- Length
- 25–50 min
- Intensity
- Sweet
Free · No signup · Nothing you answer is saved
How do you play Childhood Questions?
Childhood questions ask couples to describe the household each grew up in — what happened when someone was angry, how affection was shown, what was never discussed, what you had to be to be alright there. Most of how a person handles conflict, money and apology was set there, so describing it explains a great deal.
How to play
- Both answer every card.
- Ask follow-ups — this is a deck where the second question is usually the good one.
- Do not interpret or diagnose. Listen to the description.
- Six to eight cards is a full evening.
- Some of these have sad answers. Do not rush past them.
Why couples love this game
It reframes a lot of small mysteries at once. The partner who cannot let an argument sit overnight, or who goes strange about money, or who apologises instantly and constantly — those usually stop being personality traits and start being descriptions of a house, and that is a much easier thing to be patient with.
Almost everything about how a person handles conflict, money, affection and apology was set before they were fifteen, by a household they did not choose and have probably never described to anyone in detail.
These questions ask about that household. Not therapy — just the specifics of what was normal, what was never discussed, and what everybody in that house believed without saying.
It is the most consistently illuminating deck on the site for couples who have been together a while, because it explains things you have both been mildly puzzled by for years.
Example questions
- What was a normal weekday evening like in your house?
- What happened when somebody was angry?
- How was affection shown, if it was?
- What was never discussed?
- What did your family believe about money?
- Who was the person you went to when something went wrong?
The full game has 22 of these, shuffled every time you play.
Who this game is best for
- Couples a year or more in
- Anyone about to meet the family properly
- Before marrying or having children
- Alongside counselling
Tips to make it better
- Describe rather than analyse. "We never talked about money" is more useful than a theory about why.
- Do not diagnose your partner's parents. It never lands well, even when it is right.
- Follow-ups matter more here than anywhere else on the site.
- The last two cards are the ones to finish on.
Frequently asked questions
Why do childhood questions help a relationship?
Because most of how someone handles conflict, money and affection was learned at home before fifteen. Hearing the description turns a baffling habit into an understandable one, which is much easier to be patient with.
Is this therapy?
No. It is a description exercise, not an analysis one, and the tips deliberately warn against diagnosing anybody's parents.
What if the answers are difficult?
Some will be. Do not rush past them, do not try to reframe them into something positive, and stop early if either of you needs to.