Pet Peeve or Dealbreaker?
Is this annoying, or is this the end?
- Players
- 2+ players
- Length
- 15–30 min
- Cost
- Free · no signup
- Long distance
- Works long distance
Ready?
Is this annoying, or is this the end?
- Players
- 2+ players
- Length
- 15–30 min
- Intensity
- Sweet
Free · No signup · Nothing you answer is saved
How do you play Pet Peeve or Dealbreaker??
Pet Peeve or Dealbreaker presents a behaviour and both partners simultaneously call it either tolerable or non-negotiable. Agreements move on; splits get a minute of explanation each, with no attempt to convert the other. It surfaces where each person draws their line before anything has actually crossed it.
How to play
- Read the behaviour out loud.
- Both call it — pet peeve or dealbreaker — at the same time.
- Where you agree, move on.
- Where you split, each explain for a minute. Do not try to convert them.
- Nobody may change their call after hearing the other.
Why couples love this game
A dealbreaker is one of the few things in a relationship that is genuinely non-negotiable, and almost nobody has stated theirs out loud. Finding out you disagree about where the line is — while nothing has happened — is one of the most useful twenty minutes available.
Everybody has a private line between something they can live with and something they cannot, and almost nobody has ever drawn it out loud. It only becomes visible when it gets crossed, which is a very expensive time to discover where it was.
This game draws it in advance. A behaviour comes up and you both call it — a pet peeve you would tolerate, or a genuine dealbreaker.
The disagreements are the useful part. Discovering that your partner considers something survivable that you consider fatal is worth knowing on a Tuesday rather than in year four.
Example questions
- They are consistently twenty minutes late for everything.
- They never say sorry first.
- They are rude to waiting staff.
- They do not read books. At all. Ever.
- They text throughout every film.
- They cannot manage money and never will.
The full game has 22 of these, shuffled every time you play.
Who this game is best for
- New couples working out compatibility
- Anyone whose last relationship ended over something they never named
- Double dates, where it gets properly argumentative
- Video calls
Tips to make it better
- Call it simultaneously. Going second turns it into agreement.
- Do not try to talk your partner out of a dealbreaker. It is not a debate.
- A split answer is not a warning sign by itself. Not knowing about it is.
- Green Flag or Red Flag is the lighter version of the same conversation.
Frequently asked questions
What counts as a relationship dealbreaker?
Something you genuinely could not live with indefinitely, as opposed to something that irritates you. The distinction is personal, which is exactly why stating it out loud is useful.
What if we disagree on a lot of them?
Disagreeing about where a line sits is normal and not the same as being incompatible. Not knowing where your partner puts theirs is the actual risk.
How is this different from Green Flag or Red Flag?
That deck judges behaviours as good or bad. This one asks the harder question — whether you could actually live with it.