Love Map Questions
How detailed is your map of them?
- Players
- 2 players
- Length
- 20–40 min
- Cost
- Free · no signup
- Long distance
- Works long distance
Ready?
How detailed is your map of them?
- Players
- 2 players
- Length
- 20–40 min
- Intensity
- Sweet
Free · No signup · Nothing you answer is saved
How do you play Love Map Questions?
Love map questions, from John Gottman's research, test how current your mental picture of your partner is — what is stressing them now, who their closest friend is now, what they are looking forward to. One partner guesses and the other reveals. Unlike fact quizzes, every answer may have changed in the last six months.
How to play
- One of you guesses out loud. The other reveals.
- Score right or wrong. "Close" does not count.
- Swap every question.
- Where you were wrong, ask the follow-up. That is the map updating.
- Note anything you did not know. That is the actual output.
Why couples love this game
It is the only quiz on the site where the answers all changed in the last six months. Fact-based quizzes reward memory; this one rewards recent attention — and it is the questions about what is currently stressing them or currently annoying them that people get wrong most often.
John Gottman's research popularised the idea of a "love map": the mental picture you hold of your partner's inner world — their worries, hopes, irritations and history — and how regularly you update it.
The finding that makes it useful is that couples who keep updating theirs do better, and that most people stop updating around the point they assume they already know. The map goes stale without anybody noticing.
These questions test the map rather than the facts. One partner guesses, the other reveals, and the score is a decent measure of how current your picture actually is.
Example questions
- What is currently causing them the most stress?
- What are they most looking forward to in the next month?
- Who is their closest friend at the moment?
- What is a worry they have about their work?
- What are they most proud of recently?
- Which family member is on their mind?
The full game has 20 of these, shuffled every time you play.
Who this game is best for
- Long-term couples
- After a busy period where you have both been distracted
- Anyone who has read Gottman and wants to apply it
- Long-distance couples, where drift happens invisibly
Tips to make it better
- No partial credit. Vague answers are how a stale map hides.
- Ask the follow-up on every wrong one — that is literally the exercise.
- Redo it every few months. The point is that the answers move.
- A poor score is not a verdict. It is a to-do list.
Frequently asked questions
What is a love map?
The mental picture you hold of your partner's inner world — worries, hopes, friendships, irritations. Gottman's research associates regularly updating it with doing better as a couple.
How is this different from a normal partner quiz?
Fact quizzes ask things that were fixed years ago. Every answer here could have changed since spring, which is why long-term couples often score worse on this than newer ones.
What if I score badly?
It is a to-do list rather than a verdict. Ask the follow-up on every wrong answer and the map updates on the spot, which is the entire exercise.