Communication Style Quiz
Score yourself. Then find out how they scored you.
- Players
- 2 players
- Length
- 20–40 min
- Cost
- Free · no signup
- Long distance
- Works long distance
Ready?
Score yourself. Then find out how they scored you.
- Players
- 2 players
- Length
- 20–40 min
- Intensity
- Sweet
Free · No signup · Nothing you answer is saved
How do you play Communication Style Quiz?
A communication style quiz has both partners privately rate the same statements about how they communicate, then reveal together. The useful result is not either score but the gap between them — nobody rates themselves badly at listening, so the distance between the two ratings is where the real information sits.
How to play
- Score each statement about yourself, one to ten, privately.
- Do not discuss anything while scoring.
- Reveal at the end and compare all fourteen.
- Ignore the matches entirely. Go to the biggest gap.
- Discuss one gap only. Trying to cover four fixes none.
Why couples love this game
Self-report is unreliable and that unreliability is the data. Nobody scores themselves badly on listening, so the useful signal is entirely in the distance between your score and theirs — and that distance is much harder to argue with than an accusation.
Everybody thinks they communicate reasonably well, which is statistically impossible. The interesting number is never your own score — it is the distance between how you rate yourself and how your partner rates the same thing.
You both score the same statements privately and reveal together. Where you agree, nothing to do. Where you are four points apart, you have found something.
It is diagnostic rather than prescriptive. It will not tell you how to fix anything; it will tell you where to look.
Example things you rate
- I say what I actually mean rather than hinting
- I ask directly for what I need
- I listen without planning my reply
- I notice when something is wrong before being told
- I stay calm when I am criticised
- I admit when I am wrong quickly
The full game has 14 of these, shuffled every time you play.
Who this game is best for
- Couples who keep having the same misunderstanding
- Anyone who suspects they are the reasonable one
- Before moving in or marrying
- Alongside counselling
Tips to make it better
- Score honestly. A row of nines wastes the exercise.
- Do not look at each other's screens. The privacy is the mechanism.
- One gap per session, and pick the biggest one.
- Redo it in six months and compare the gaps rather than the scores.
Frequently asked questions
Why score yourself rather than each other?
Because self-report is unreliable in a predictable direction, and that predictability is useful. The gap between how you rate yourself and how your partner rates the same thing is far more informative than either number.
What if the gaps are large?
Pick the largest one and discuss only that. Couples who try to address four gaps in an evening resolve none of them.
Is this scientifically validated?
No. It is a structured conversation with numbers attached, not an assessment instrument, and it is useful for exactly that.