Relationship Values Quiz
What actually matters to you, ranked honestly.
- Players
- 2 players
- Length
- 15–35 min
- Cost
- Free · no signup
- Long distance
- Works long distance
Ready?
What actually matters to you, ranked honestly.
- Players
- 2 players
- Length
- 15–35 min
- Intensity
- Sweet
Free · No signup · Nothing you answer is saved
How do you play Relationship Values Quiz?
A relationship values quiz has both partners privately rate how much fourteen things matter — honesty, loyalty, independence, security, adventure — then compare the resulting ranking rather than the raw scores. Couples rarely disagree that these are good; they disagree about which one gives when two collide.
How to play
- Score each item one to ten, privately, on how much it matters to you.
- Do not talk while scoring.
- Reveal at the end. Compare the ranking, not the raw numbers.
- Find the item where your positions are furthest apart.
- Talk about a real situation where those two would collide.
Why couples love this game
The collision is the whole point. Everybody scores honesty and loyalty highly, so the interesting information is what happens when they conflict — and a couple who have never noticed that one of them ranks independence third and the other ranks it eleventh will find that out eventually, usually badly.
Couples rarely disagree about whether honesty or loyalty are good. They disagree about ranking — which one gives when two of them collide, and that only becomes visible in an actual situation.
This quiz makes the ranking explicit in advance. You each rate how much fourteen things genuinely matter to you, privately, and then compare the order rather than the scores.
The useful output is the pair where your rankings are furthest apart, because that is the collision waiting to happen.
Example things you rate
- Complete honesty, even when it hurts
- Loyalty above being right
- Independence and time apart
- Financial security
- Ambition and going somewhere
- Being close to family
The full game has 14 of these, shuffled every time you play.
Who this game is best for
- Couples getting serious
- Before moving in or marrying
- Anyone whose arguments seem to be about small things
- Long-distance couples deciding what comes next
Tips to make it better
- Score what is true, not what sounds admirable.
- Compare rankings rather than numbers. Two people who both score everything highly still have an order.
- Take the biggest gap and invent a scenario where those two values conflict. That is the real conversation.
- Redo it in a few years. Values move less than preferences but they do move.
Frequently asked questions
Do couples need the same values?
Not identical ones, but they do need to know each other's order. Two people who both value honesty and loyalty highly can still collide badly if one ranks honesty above loyalty and the other does not.
Why compare rankings instead of scores?
Because most people score most of these highly. The order is where the real information is, and the order is what determines what happens when two values conflict.
What do we do with the biggest gap?
Invent a specific situation where those two values would collide and talk through it. Abstract agreement about values predicts almost nothing.